I'm currently on a Delta flight to Salt Lake City, feeling fortunate to have made it aboard. About a half hour ago, I was held in security at John Wayne Airport in Orange County and being asked if I wanted the entire airport to be shut down. Wow. It was one of those bizarre experiences with airport security that you read about, thinking it must be made up, that surely our security is better than this. Nope.

The day started uneventfully enough. I checked in with Delta, was given my boarding pass and went to the security line. I've written before about being part of the CLEAR program, which gives me a special card declaring me a vetted person and supposedly getting me through security faster. Despite getting my card, I've yet to hit an airport in the US with the system in place, John Wayne among them.

By the way, those of your sniggering about the name of the airport, hush. I'm not a huge Duke fan, but be nice. I'm from Orange County, I love Orange County, and I wish our airport was simply called Orange County Airport. But it was renamed years ago to honor one of Orange County's most famous residents, John Wayne. There's even a statue of him at the airport, originally bronze, and later colorized. Seriously -- when I worked for the LA Times in Orange County, I helped with an article about colorizing the statue.

Back to my mini-saga. The security line wasn't too long, actually. I was called forward to someone who looked at my driver's license, boarding pass and told me to go into one of the three lines operating. I moved fairly quickly through the middle. Out came my laptop into one of those plastic bins. Off came my shoes (I always wear Vans slip-ons now when traveling, which makes life easier. Perhaps if I'd worn my American Flag Vans, it would have helped with security. Instead, I was in my red-and-white checked ones). My lip balm was safely secure within its rugged and required plastic bag.

Everything went into the X-ray, came out, and I reassembled my life. Shoes on; computer back in backpack; plastic baggie tucked away.

When my flight started boarding, I presented my boarding pass and driver's license. Uh oh. On my boarding pass, a line of SSSSS was circled. Apparently, this meant I was supposed to go through a special security screening process where someone would punch a hole in my boarding pass to prove all was good.

Thinking about it now, perhaps I should have punched my own hole! Instead, I was mystified and concerned. I was one of the last people boarding, and I was worried the plane would go without me. The Delta gate personnel told me to go back to security (which was a long walk), hold my pass up to a sheriff near there and get it punch. They were calm and expressed no worries I would be delay. I wasn't told to rush or given any idea there would be a problem. My last words when I left were, "You promise you're not going to leave without me?"

I walked back to security, found the sheriff behind his desk and was told to go to the nearby security area. A TSA woman came over, and I said I was supposed to have had this boarding pass punched. She immediately started grumbling about people not doing their jobs right, looking concerned and pointed me over to a screening area. She wasn't hostile with me, just clearly irritated that someone had screwed up and giving me the impression this wasn't the first time.

Things starting coming out of my bag and having those chemical detection things rubbed over them. I was told to take off my shoes, so they could be X-rayed. My bottle of Diet Coke was taken out, and I was asked if I'd bought it in the terminal. Yes! Please don't take my $3.23 bottle of Diet Coke away. I needed both the caffeine plus didn't know if I wanted to invest further in a new bottle at such absurd prices.

But that Diet Coke almost led to my downfall. Finally it clicked. What the hell? You're screening me now? After I've already been through security? If I really had anything dangerous -- if I really was intending to do harm with some object -- I'd have already dumped it in the terminal before coming back to security. I'd been all the way to the gate itself. I had plenty of time to lose things I shouldn't have.

I said as much. I know, I know. I know! Shut up, don't talk back to security, just go with the flow. It's a stupid, stupid thing to do. But I was annoyed we were playing what was clearly a silly game.

I wasn't hostile or yelling, just annoyed and questioning why this was happening now, and wasn't it a waste of time. This caused more people to come over. At no point was anyone hostile to me. They mainly repeated that we'll get you through the process as quickly as possible -- though I was specifically told they would NOT tell the airline they'd held me up.

Several different people apologized and explained that the screw-up wasn't their fault. The people at the initial line aren't TSA and should have directed me to a special screening area. I'll get back to this in a bit.

Someone I assume was fairly senior was one of the people who came over to talk to me. I explained again how absurd this process was, that if I had anything to hide, it would have been hidden by now. He looked me directly in the eye and asked simply, "Would you like to shut the airport down."

Finally, I got it -- the panic. I'd breached security. I should have been properly screened, wasn't, and it was likely that some regulations might have required the entire airport be closed to fully search that I didn't get anything past security somehow.

Perhaps that's overblown. Perhaps I wouldn't have shut down the airport, if I'd kept up. One concern I have in writing this at all is not wanting to hurt the TSA staff involved for perhaps not doing more to search the airport after the fact. That seems odd, but it's also common sense. Is someone who is a threat really going to walk back to security for a second screening? No -- I'd have just exited the airport. And what would I have gotten past? I'd been through the standard screening process already. I posed no real risk, as anyone with common sense rather than a love for regulations would know. So thank you TSA folks, for going with the common sense -- and apologies if this post causes you hassle for trying to help me.

I really mean that. I debated doing the post at all, but I wanted to because the problem wasn't with the TSA staff necessarily but the process overall. Remember those contractors that were supposed to send me to the right line? Well, why isn't the TSA doing this? If it's important to put people in the correct place for a screening, then more responsible people should be doing it in the first place.

Of course, I had to show my boarding pass to a TSA person when I went through the metal detector. Sometimes, I've had people take it and my license and look close. In this case, it was enough to wave my pass. It never left my hand, was never examined and thus the fact it was never punched failed to be noticed.

When I was done (laptop returned with a newly scratched lid, sigh), I was panicked about that flight. I ran to the gate. This being John Wayne, there are a few gates that lack actual jetways, so the plane wasn't pushed back. But the stairs leading to it seemed to be pulled away. The gate staff saw me and got on the radio. I had a sinking feeling my plane was going without me, but they managed to get me on. Thank you, Delta.

So here I sit, a passenger declared free of evil objects and potential wrong-doing. I worry that by posting, I'll end up on some eternal troublemaker watchlist. So be it. It just illustrates what I feel, what I know every time that I go through security. That's we're merely playing games to make us feel secure rather than really being secure.

I'm hardly the first to say this, of course. But I'll say it again, anyway. After September 11, there was this array of things we couldn't have. Time for plastic forks rather than silverware. Those shoes have to come off. Liquids pose a threat.

But since then, the silverware has come back. I was amazed recently on a domestic flight over the array of objects I was allowed to bring, things previously banned. Of course, the banning always seemed fairly random anyway. I can't take a knife, but I can take a lightweight laptop with a thin titanium lid that could easily be ripped off the laptop and folded up into a weapon. Right.

Personally, I've long ceased worrying that a passenger will hijack a plane and fly it into a building as happened with 9/11. That works once. Then when passengers realize you're going to kill them, they're going to kill you first.

Explosives on a plane, that worries me more. I want that detected. And even when I know the security screenings seem a joke, part of me still likes the reassurance.

I don't know what the solution is. Mistakes will always be made, and you can't catch everything. Perhaps we need a system that looks more closely at people rather than the objects that they carry. I don't know. So I guess I'll continue pretending like so many of us do.

By the way, to leave it on a humorous note, when I bought those American Flag Vans, I joked they'd be the perfect way to declare I wasn't a terrorist. Recently, I purchased this Counter Terrorism Unit T-Shirt, you know, the agency from 24? I've taken to wearing that and had it on today. Maybe the logo on the front convinced everyone I was fine:

Well, Elisabeth, at least I have something fun to talk about at your wedding!

Next Post: Salt Lake City To Moab, Utah -- With Train Wreck Along The Way
Previous Post: Rollerblading Along The Newport Beach Boardwalk
All Posts: Daggle Archives
Posts By Category: Daggle Categories
Return To: Daggle Home Page

Comments

Want to comment? If you are signed into TypeKey, you'll see a form below. No form? Click on the sign-in link below, and you can sign-in or sign-up for a free account. Sorry you have to use TypeKey, but I use it to avoid comment spam. All comments currently appear automatically after posting.

Leave a comment

Name

Email Address

URL

Remember personal info?

Comments (You may use HTML tags for style)