Many in the search marketing industry personally know or know of long-time vet Detlev Johnson. He’s been a personal friend of mine for over 10 years. And boy, did he have a surprise in store for me when we met up at SMX East last October! Detlev is undergoing a sex change — or a gender change, as his doctor would say.
As Detlev explained to me, he was born with both male and female characteristics. At age 14, he made the hard decision to live life as a man. Now much older, he’s decided that he really wants to be a woman.
Wow – talk about a life changing experience! It’s also one that Detlev is really comfortable with. For the first time in the years I’ve known him, he finally seems settled in a way that I can’t describe – as if he’s doing what he’s been wanting to do for ages.
Detlev’s also pretty open about the change he’s going through. It’s not an instant one. He’s going through hormone therapy right now, plus his appearance has been changing. Along with that has been a name change – he’s Disa now. Or while he’s technically still a he, getting behind the change, I’ll be calling her Disa from this point forward.
Curious to understand more? At SMX West, I’m going to do an informal Q&A with Disa. This will run from 6pm to 7pm on Wednesday, February 11. You don’t have to have a conference pass to attend this session, either. I’ll post the exact room here in the future. Come with your questions, an open mind, and don’t be shy. Disa isn’t!
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Disa has been one of my best friends in the Search Business for many years. In fact, I think he was actually the first good international friend in search that I met in real life.
We have spend a lot of time together – at conferences and in private.
Disa is a true friend! The best you can have. And a sex change won’t make any difference to me.
As I told Disa, when she told me about the change: I don’t care how you dress, who you sleep with or how you vote – as long as you are the good friend you have always been things are all the same to me
Unfortunately I won’t make it to SMX West this time but I am looking forward to the next time we meet up.
Damn, now I made the mistake of calling Disa “he”. Sorry, its just hard getting used to. I will do my best not to make the same mistake again.
Thank you Danny and Lorna! Mikkel, thank you so much – it means a tremendous amount to me to have such an awesome friend. Also thanks to everyone, especially Heather, for all the support I’ve gotten. Jessie, thank you. I could go on for ages, and suffice it to say I’ve received warm wishes from many friends on Facebook where I made my announcement. I did it using a Blackberry between years 2008 and 2009, a moment that was suspended for me anyway – hah!
As Danny refers to in the original post above, I’m an open book. The particulars of my experience are difficult to convey but that’s what makes engaging the questions so much fun. I’m not at all bashful. Please don’t think any question would insult me, I’m not inclined to care. More, I would want to help anyone interested see me more clearly.
An odd thing, detlev is not entirely gone, nor will he ever be. For those who are afraid the detlev they knew is forever gone away, don’t be. It’s the most common sad response I seem to be getting. In fact, I’m me, always have been, always will be. It can seem like I would shun detlev in favor of Disa. In fact, I’m proud of who I was and will be, both. That’s *my* duality to struggle with. You don’t have to take that part on yourself – hah! I wouldn’t advise it anyway unless you struggle with the same stuff. If you do, let’s talk privately.
Just know that I will continue to love and respect my friends past and present, and I will be the person you have counted on before, just expressing myself as a woman. I’m looking forward to more friendship in the future. That’s basically it. If you slip and say ‘he’ or use ‘detlev’ by mistake, I will not take offense at all! I’ll love you anyway, please understand, it’s true.
That’s about all I can think of right now. I’ll monitor for questions and the like. Have a great time with it!
Best wishes,
Disa
It doesn’t matter what sex you are, your soul is what makes you a good person. Know you’re loved and appreciated regardless of gender by this old friend.
And if you need some help doing hair, I’m the girl to come to.
Thank you Debra!
Ahh yes. Hair tips and tricks are always welcomed. I have a fair amount of recovery to do, and it’s going alright for now. Also, thanks for the Twitter early on. I think you were the first in that service, Debra – yay!
-me
The man, the woman, the person. Disa you are who you have been, and you are who you will be. A person of great character, one who feels deeply not only for your work and career but more importantly for the people you work (and play) with. You are also very courageous in what you have done, and what you will do.
You are a friend and will always be. Great Peace on this new path.
Dana Melick
I am incredibly proud of Disa. She and I have gone through a lot together, and I’ve always been impressed by her strength, kindness and courage.
And for people who are worried that detlev is “gone” – don’t. The brilliant detlev brain and personality is still there. Only the packaging has changed.
Ah Heather, my sunshine – thank you!
Dana, you rock!
Somewhat surprised to hear about the 409 that /detlev/ has been serving all this time! I always thought he was a 200 kind of guy.
I recommend a 300 response for now … ultimately a 301 to /disa/ may be more appropriate, although, if in any doubt, leave room for a 307.
Alan,
The plan was a 307 all along while admin sorted out issues from old school 409 responses and what triggered them. Server response 300 was about the last 3-months of 2008, actually, and not before that at all, (which is my first confusing hint to the way I’ve been all this time).
It’s full-on 301 now because the level of demand from exposure to the network with this popularity, I’ve got to commit to permanent change. I realize there’s at least some more hardware build-out for the remainder of the year before we’re running perfectly efficient. There might be the occasional ‘Twitter Whale’ here and there
It’s a nice, secure system though. We’re just modernizing with an upgrade and dealing with old conflict / misconfiguration from some outside contractor that blew it.
Hah, thanks for the fun Alan!
Disa
i never knew detlev johnson so i will never know what i have missed or if i have missed anything at all. but seeing all the other comments now makes me think he was a very awesome person – just like disa.
but i know disa – she is this playful, confident, friendly and very intelligent person online with a face that will never seize to amaze and leave me in awe. her laughter is contagious and her smile never fails to brighten my day. she also has this bad habit of annoying me too (blah! i wish she could drop that part!).
i am very glad to have met her.. even if it is just online. it would have been pretty boring if i haven’t.
uhmmmm… just in case i made a grammatical error there – blame it on language barrier….(embarrassed! lol!) thank you.
409 LOL @Alan But seriously Disa, this is such a brave (and scary!) decision and I’m in awe of your courage. Glad to see you have so many friends rallying to help you through it. I only met Detlev once or twice but we always shared some giggles. Hope I can do the same with Disa at a future conference Down Under
Kalena – I would be so happy to make it there a third time. When I do, I promised myself that I’m not going to miss a visit to see kiwi. Giggles are good to go, and everything is great Down Under – yay!
Wow. I became acquainted with Detlev, at least by name, years ago on his SEO mailing list. Although I’ve been to several conferences and seen him, I’ve never been formally introduced.
I have to give Disa credit for being upfront and having the courage to do this. As a gay man, I am familiar with being considered “different” but can’t imagine what it takes to go through something like this.
I’ll be sure to walk right up at the next conference I attend and introduce myself to Disa. Congratulations on being true to yourself!
And, I have to also congratulate Danny and the SEO community for their support of one of our own!
A big hand to you all!
Disa, I’ve known you for many, many years now (I have the amazing Heather to thank for knowing you) but it’s really been the past year that we’ve gotten to know each other better. Your compassion, offers to help and support me, and general kindness have been so much appreciated. Your courage and willingness to be true to yourself in this difficult world is truly inspirational. –Jenn
I’m still elated to come here and read such wonderful comments – thank you all! I also want to thank Fred and Eric for help with preparing to launch not just Disa, but Search Return software tools at SMX West. Thank you!
Disa / detlev, by any name and any gender, You Rock! Can’t wait to see you at SMX West.
Love, Leslie