After 12 years of living in the UK, I’m going home — back to Southern California, back to Newport Beach. This will be a fairly personal post about the decision my family has made, but my blog was supposed to be for more than writing about gadgets and computers and donuts. Good writing is often deeply personal, and I don’t do nearly enough of that type of writing.
Back in December 1996, I came to Britain with my wife so that we could start a new chapter in our lives, that of raising a family. I didn’t want to leave home. I simply love California. I love Orange County and in particular, I love Newport Beach. I take nothing away from the many other beautiful and wonderful places in the world. It’s just that this is where I grew up. It screams “home” to ever fiber of my being. I literally feel the difference in the air, smoggy as it may be, that I breathe when I get back.
Nevertheless, I agreed to come back. I knew Britain and had spent much time here. Indeed, that’s how I met my wife, who is British. And she wanted to be home for this part of our lives. I figured it would be OK. There was no way to be both places, and I knew she’d be more comfortable near her family as we started having our own. We’d get back to California and perhaps eventually return there.
We did start going back. With my travel schedule, I returned often for work. As a family, we’d get back usually once per year. I often tell a story about the first trip back with my son who had just turned two or so. I took him outside, and he looked up at the trees with a puzzled look. I looked up and realized he was confused at the trees — they were palm trees, and he’d never seen them before. Or maybe it was just gas, but it makes for a nice story.
As the years ticked by, people would often ask me how I liked being in the UK. “It’s OK,” would be my standard answer, and I’d cover the general things about missing the weather at home, the general expense of things in the UK but how we lived in a nice village and universal health care couldn’t be beat. “Will you ever go home,” was a common follow-up question. Sure, I’d reply — when my kids were 18, daddy was going back, and anyone who wanted to join him could.
Over the past year, it became increasingly harder for me to say the “It’s OK” thing. I was traveling back much more, and I was finding I missed home even more. I couldn’t help myself — my responses more and more came out as “I hate it.” To all my UK friends, it’s not that I hate Britain. It’s that I’ve hated being away from my home, the place I’ve felt most comfortable.
Despite really not liking it, I felt I had little choice. The kids, you know. You can’t disrupt the kids. Or the entire family, to make such a move. Just. Can’t. Be. Done.
Or so I thought. Talking is a good thing, and my wife realized how much happier I’d be at home. Many of the things I love — and love to do with the family — are at our doorstep in California. Sure, Big Bear isn’t the greatest place to ski or snowboard, but it makes for a fun day. My youngest who’s into skateboarding — as I’ve been getting into — doesn’t need to be driven an hour away only to find the park is so wet that you can’t use it.
Being back in California also means a lot of good things in terms of work. So much of what I do is helped by personal meetings, but I get little time for these being 6,000 miles away from the heart of the search industry. For all these years, I’ve also worked a schedule where I know my day will stretch late into the UK night, because that when the California day is just getting going. And any trip back, that’s always meant at least three days away from home — one out, one back plus whatever work days in between. Since I got out so rarely, I’d often try to bundle a lot in a trip, which means I could be away for two weeks at a time.
Now I can hardly believe the change that’s about to come. Later this year, if I want to get an update with Google or Microsoft, I can jump on a plane and spend a day to do it, no jet lag, no planning multiple meetings around an already exhausting conference that might be happening.
It’s scary in some ways, mainly because of not knowing how our two boys will react. Talking to them this weekend, the first reaction was of not wanting to go. I’d felt they’d be OK, because each year I semi-joke with them about going back, and after our last trip, they actually seemed kind of eager.
Tonight, my oldest came in very upset, worried about the many things we’d be leaving behind. But my wife and I talked with him more, and he seems OK now. The thought that I’ll switch my Mini here for a Mini convertible there certainly brightened him up.
The treehouse I built, of course, can’t come with us. Believe me, if I could deconstruct it and transport it over, I would. But in the end, it’s only a thing. Things can always be replaced, or you go on without them. Life is more than worrying about things.
We know that kids are resilient, and we think the boys will be OK, and we’ll surround them with love as we embark upon this new journey. And daddy will start taking them to school in the morning, rollerblading alongside them as they bicycle their way, until they’re old enough to tell daddy to go away 
The plan is to be back by August. It’s going to be a busy and changeful next few months as we move to that, and I’ll be blogging about how we go through it. But California here I come, right back where I started from. Open up those Golden Gates!
{ 44 comments }
Wow, I honestly did not think you would move until your kids were out of the house.
I am very happy for you and your family.
Danny, I commend you on the decision as well as for being able to spend time with your boys. I’m going through the early stages of fatherhood — and I am really bitter that, unless I break off on my own, I’m not able to see my little man grow up as I’d like to.
Kudos to you for doing and accomplishing all that you do — while also keeping family first.
Danny,
Congratulations! I can certainly appreciate the struggle of bringing kids up and making big decisions – your excitement will become contagious for the boys and they’ll probably soon be happy to trade the UK for a sunny beach and palm trees!
My husband and I often talk about becoming subsistence farmers in the middle of nowhere Canada (satellite internet of course.) Now if I can only convince my 11 yo that malls and school are overrated and all the cool kids are home schooled
Again, congratulations!
That’s awesome news Danny!
Now you’ll get to rub it in that it’s always sunny and warm, when it’s down right miserable here in Philly. LOL
~Li
Danny, thanks for sharing. I have been attending SES and SMX for a while and met you 1st at SMX Advanced and just saw you last week. I did not know the backstory around your being in England and I always thought it was amazing that you could launch everything from so far away. But its nice to have you closer to California now. Good luck with the move.
Congrats Danny!
Congrats Danny! I’m excited to have you as a neighbor!!! Though, if you need help moving, I’m going to be busy…
Waaaaiiit, Danny buys a Mac and announces a move back to The States in the same week?
It’s not April fools. . . is it a full moon?
Congrats on both counts Danny. The kids will be fine. I’d be more worried about your wife
Wow wow wow! That’s *huge* news–congratulations! The mind boggles at the possibilities. You could visit Google more often than every few months. The Daily SearchCast could be at a normal time instead of early in the morning. All that sunshine!
Congratulations on the wonderful news. Some of the migration will take time or be a pain, but I think your kids will love California..
Congrats and welcome back to the U.S., Danny. And I’m happy to hear we may be working together again soon. Though I’m now in NYC again, I hope our paths cross!
Congrats Danny! Welcome back to the neighborhood. Sunny So. Cal missed ya!
I’m going to ditto Eric. It’s awesome to see a man that can balance family and business. Good luck on the move. I hope everything works out for the best.
Congrats Danny! Fantastic news, and I’m sure the boys will be fine. I’m sure this’ll be a great move personally and for business purposes, too.
Congrat’s Danny….moving back to the 2nd best county in California. San Diego of course being #1!
To ensure the migration is smooth, remember to permanently 301 all your mail properly so people can still find you!
welcome home Danny
Congrats on such a big decision Danny! We all know the industry will be the better for it and if you’re a happier camper your family will too.
The down side is the cost of living in Orange County versus The UK – especially the housing costs.
You can instantly go from being middle class to borderline poverty in terms of leftover income
The down side is the cost of living in Orange County versus The UK – especially the excessive housing costs.
You can instantly go from being middle class to borderline poverty in terms of leftover income
Danny, congratulations on your return. The way you always talked about California indicated how much you missed it. I’m happy for you you can go home. Europe is losing a big man, I hope you still will be here a lot. Otherwise we all have to move to California
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Matt Cutts suggested you could change the hours of the Daily Search Cast. Please remember you’re European listeners if you want to do that
Good luck to you and your family!
Duuuuuuude… welcome home!
Hi Danny,
Perhaps I can shed some light and tell you how things will evolve …
I was 11 when I moved to Italy from the US (Conn.) – I had been here twice before, nonetheless when it actually happened it was traumatic. Things were so different in those days (’73) but your little ones will suffer the cultural shock and it will take 2 years for them to adjust.
In ’94 my son Alex was 4 and we were living in the Holland, and it was time for me to move on and I gave it a shot with the Internet. We moved back to Italy and it was hard on the little guy. I can recall putting him to bed and staying and telling my usual (half invented) bed time story. After the story a good night kiss would wrap up the evening and he’d turn around and start crying – he missed his Holland, his friends, his little routine …
So it’s gonna be tough for them and for YOU – you’ll hurt inside beyond your expectations, They are going to need you, be prepared for tough times and bitter confrontation but don’t give in to easy fixes: it’s not what you can buy them that will make things work …
I know exactly what you mean about going home – you’ll need all that energy and enthusiasm to keep your family going – my wife Mary is originally from Sydney (of Italian descent) and she has been here with me for 22 years (long time isn’t it!) and only I know how many times I’ve had to be there for her. You’re in for a great reward but you’ll see there is a (high) price to pay.
Good luck Danny
Congratulations on the decision Danny. …best of luck, peace, joy, excitement, fulfillment, happiness, safe travels, and profit to you and your loved ones.
Marty
Big decision there, and obviously one not taken lightly. It’ll be change and upheaval, with everyone realizing things that they miss, but as you say, things can be replaced, English shops abound in the US (for Quavers, Hob-nobs, etc).
Good luck.
You’ll come running back when you realise what you miss back here in old Blighty
Most important of all – what’s going to happen with Daisy?
Danny I understand what you mean regarding the UK. Having moved here 5 years ago from New Zealand I have the same love/hate relationship with it. All the best over the next few months. Shame about the tree house.
I can understand how it feels being away from home for so long. I lived over in Copenhagen for awhile. I’ll never forget when I returned and came through immigration, the officer said “Welcome Home”, and I wanted to reach over and give her a hug.
It’s great to experience other places and cultures – but it’s really great to come back. So, congratulations and welcome HOME!
Orange County sounds (and looks) great and as seasoned skateboarder myself I can fully appreciate you’re reasons for wanting to return!
Home sweet home – you must be as excited as child once again. I just wanted to wish you and your family all the very best of British luck, not that you’ll need it as I’m sure like everything else you do, it’ll be 100% bullet proof ;0)
Just make sure you keep the boys playing ‘FOOT’ball the correct way and take a massive supply of Marmite!
Danny,
Very happy for you but sad that the UK wasn’t making you happy. That being said I can totally understand what you mean about ‘home’, even though I often feel like I could be at home here, in the US, France or Australia.
Just make sure you get BBC America and your kids should be fine!
All the best.
Matt, yep, definitely going to have to revisit the Daily SearchCast’s time. Perhaps I’ll do it in the afternoon, watching the sun set! But BasvdBeld, I’ll keep Europe in mind!
SearchBuzz, love San Diego, my number two! Let’s just say it won’t be hard to get me to make the hour drive down from time-to-time, especially when Del Mar is going.
Search Engine Web, the UK housing prices are just as bad as the US and California, believe me.
Ken, Duuuuuuddddddeeeeee, now get your ass out of that Northern California/Marin wasteland. Remember when we were going to wrap network cable along the telephone poles between our houses in Newport? Heh.
Simon, if only I could bring Waitrose along.
Ciarán, at least I can now be a Vans supplier for you.
Congratulations, Danny! I can imagine it was a hard choice to make. I hope everything will workout just fine for the boys.
I think you deserve respect for becoming one of the most influential people in search marketing while living in the UK for the past 12 years.
Good to hear that you’ll keep Europe in mind, but I understand that it must be awesome to move to the heart of search. Good luck and all the best for you and your family!
Danny, wow, when I spoke with you on the way to lunch at SMX and asked you when are you moving back to the States, you said, maybe soon, I had not clue it would be so soon!
Congratulations, we will be happy to have to back so much closer. Europe is great, I know I was born there and lived 20+ years, but there is no country like the USA!
God’s speed!
Congratulations Danny! This must be truly one of the toughest decisions that you had to make for you and your family. I can relate because as a kid I moved back and forth between Japan and the US with my father’s job obligations. If my memory serves me correct, my sister had gone to 6 schools by the time she was attending JR High. My father recently had confessed that he was still not sure that the multiple moves was the right thing for the family. He thought that the kids might have wanted to live “a normal Japanese life”. I let him know that it was second best choice that he has ever made in his life after marring my mom. Without a doubt. I am so grateful for the experience. Plus if it wasn’t for that, I will never call Southern California my home!
Yeah!!! that is super exciting news:)
This will definitely make our snowboarding trips easier to plan;) You could be on the hill way before noon if you take a morning flight to UT;) forget about big bear!
and you’ll need a moving helmet;)
Danny – thanks – I’ll pick up a catalogue!
I’ve actually just re-read the post and realised that you set everything up whilst living in the UK – I always thought you moved over here once it was going and so I can only say that you seriously deserve to go home and get some early nights.
Welcome back home Danny!
Looking forward to having more events in the SoCal area!
Best wishes to you and your family in the transition.
-Victor
Owwww Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes, the piiiipes:) Welcome back to the states Danny and you could not have picked a better place then newport beach:). I am planning to move out that well in jan 09 so I hope to see you out on the beach bro, Mahalo.
Danny, I have to disagree with the post that said it’ll be harder on your boys than you and it’ll take them two years to adjust. My family moved four times when I was growing up — not to a different country, but across the country each time. It just wasn’t that big a deal for my sister or me. Kids are amazingly resilient — as long as they’re with their family, they’ll be fine. Kudos to your wife for going along with the plan. Welcome home. Stacy
0n behalf of the Governator, let me be one of the first to welcome you back to Cal-E-Fornia!
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Ok that was (cheesy).
seriously thought, I look forward to having some more heavy hitters down here behind the Ole Curtain.
-Ryan
PS: Who knows, maybe there is an SEMsna on the horizon?
PSS: Sessions in Big Bear or Mammoth?
Well done on making such a momentous decision Danny. I’m amazed you have blogged about it so early, i.e. while it is still a worry for your kids. Is this a way to force yourself to carry it through?
I’m sure if I was living in warm, sunny Orange County, I’d be desperate to get back here to the UK. I love seasons.
Danny, Welcome back to paradise!! Hopefully you still remember how to surf.
Nice to hear Danny. I’ve followed your career since I’ve been with my company, about 12 years. We’re both from the “OC”, me being from Garden Grove so naturally I enjoyed hearing you talk about OC, Newport, Long Beach, Huntington… and all of them.
So good to hear you’re coming back to the states. Wish you and your family nothing but the best. Hopefully I’ll see ya at the SMX Advanced…
Frank (FCTOMA)
I just wanted to say welcome back to CA. As nice as Southern CA is, its pretty nice up here in Northern CA too. Hopefully your kids will adjust to the move without much trouble. There should be plenty are areas to skate down there I would think, and If you don’t mind the drive, you always can head up to Yosemite or Big Sur. Big Basin too if you want to be along the coast as well. OR… Calvares State Park for tree or caving.
Anyhow, as a new reader to your site(s), and learner of SEO, I just wanted to say welcome back. 
I just read your article today. I was thinkg about how much I hate living in Jacksonville, FL and before that, St Augustine….both these last 5 years. All I can think about constantly now is how much I hate it here & how bad I want to go back home to San Diego.
I say “now” yet understand I have always hated it here and going back home has always been on my mind. Lately it has just consumed me.
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