I get a lot of PR pitches. Lately, they’re getting even worse than ever. Here’s the thing, PR people. Most of you who contact me are crap. A few of you do it right, and you’re golden. For the crap folks who care, I’m going to start dissecting your pitches. Learn and improve. Or don’t. Here’s today’s entry:
Hope this finds you doing well.
[I've never had any contact with this person before. Ever. So asking me if I'm doing well just fires up my bullshit meter. It implies that we somehow have connected before, when we haven't.]
I am writing to see if you have any reason to be in SF in the near future?
[I have lots of reasons to be in SF. And lots of reasons not to be. What I almost never have is time to do is sit down face-to-face with a company I've never heard of before. So why make this assumption, that I'm prepared to make that much of a time investment from the start? Could you maybe start small?]
I would love to introduce you to a company called ###. ### is changing the ### experience. ###’s award-winning products instantaneously access to information with its ###. ###’s products not only let readers immediately find and explore ### from across the web … the products also increase site engagement, creating new business models for publishers. They are innovating in ###.
[Apparently, you did introduce me to the company, the name of which I've removed. You gave me a bunch of buzzwords about its products that made my head hurt, too.]
As you know, there are bigger changes underway in the ### Internet experience. As the separate identity of the ### starts to vanish, and as the Website experience becomes richer, there will be little to distinguish between a ###. What will contextual search mean then? ### is innovating at this intersection right now.
[Hell, I don't even know what the heck "contextual search" is supposed to be now, much less what it's suppose to mean in the future. Is that the latest undefined buzzword you're deciding to ride? Because I really hate that. And I don't really care. What I do care about is a product that my readers my want to know about and why, none of which is clearly explained in this].
If you are going to be in SF I’d love to get you and ### together. If you don’t have plans, then we could arrange a call. We’ll have some news coming up next month too that’s pretty interesting.
[I removed the name -- and it was just the first name of someone -- who is mentioned with no explanation. I assume it's someone with the company. Who has a position that wasn't explained. And no, I don't want to sit with them.]