Yes, Virginia, There Is An iPhone 5

Dear Editor: I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say they heard on Twitter that there is no iPhone 5. Please tell me the truth; is there an iPhone 5?

Virginia, your little Twitter friends are wrong. They have been affected by skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they can see or see tweeted or live blogged.

Yes, Virginia, there is an iPhone 5. It exists as certainly as the love and generosity and devotion that Apple has for the world exists. You know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no iPod or iTouch or iPad or MacBook or iCloud or iTunes or iPhone. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias! There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment. The eternal light with which Applehood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in the iPhone 5! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the Apple Stores to catch the iPhone 5, but even if they did not see iPhone 5 for sale, what would that prove?

Nobody sees the iPhone 5, but that is no sign that there is no iPhone 5. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may teardown the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond.

No iPhone 5? The iPhone 5 lives, and it lives forever! A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, the iPhone 5, which will emerge, will have been known to have continued how Apple made glad the heart of childhood.

With apologies to Francis Pharcellus Church.